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Why is the mental spiral within you emerging on-and-off, telling you that something is missing despite your having immersed in the unexpected little-happiness-sparkle of a routinised Saturday perfectly within the reach of your capability; how is it that you feel uncharacteristically excited, not knowing how to distinguish it from uneasiness which you somehow know as merely a substitute for failing to mentally locate this profound feeling, particularly when reading that dystopian graphic novel, giving commands to the protagonist in that post-apocalyptic video game, or walking on the edge of the city sensing only quietness and empty roads; what is the nature of those shadow voices under the currents of your thoughts and the fixed voices you feel you have been fed, driving you restless and leaving you the invisible clusters of suffocation and void in the chest, respectively; who really are you outside of the success, numbers and all...
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