Character Sketches
by Rajendra Nargundkar
Author's Note: This is inspired by the Marathi humourist P.L. Deshpande, who wrote some immortal character sketches. Of course, these may be nowhere near his in quality, but that doesn't stop me from attempting some.
The Man Who Knows Too Much
This is the watchman at any residential complex gate. He knows exactly what is happening inside, who is coming or going. In case there is a murder in the residential complex, his testimony is crucial. He monitors the parking of sundry vehicles and tries to fob off guests trying to park inside. Also a useful chap when housewives have small errands like calling the dhobi, or the raddiwala, or the absconding maid who needs a stern reminder. At other times, his sphinx-like appearance belies his alert mind, at least in the daytime. He may be occasionally found snoring at night, but he never goofs off more than the average office-goer.
The Indian Student in 12th standard
This is a person who has to answer threetimes a day, for one year, the same dreaded question- "So, WHAT are you planning to do?" from all and sundry. Even tougher than answering the board exam questions. If he/she makes it to dream courses like engineering or whatever, he/she is considered a success by everybody. If not, God has to help her, like Krishna came to the aid of Draupadi. If he/she happens to have an interest which is somewhat non-mainstream, then even God is of little help. You can admire a Sania (or a Saina), but you can't aspire to be one, is the golden rule here.
A Girl over 21
"So, what are your marriage plans?" goes the question for this one, on the lines of the question above. If you don't have any, you better be a celebrity, or else...All the older relatives feel left out of the 'family affairs 'if this girl seems to be independent minded as far as marriage plans go. It is after all, everybody's business what the girl does─ for example, what would the Khap panchayats do if they can't sponsor a few honour killings now and then?
The Climatologist
He produces reports on the next climate disaster about to happen, such as floods, only to find that there is a drought. This is somewhat like predicting a tornado that ends up in a tsunami. While the glacier-melting prophecies were being hotly debated, a volcano quietly put everyone in their place. Nevertheless, an interesting species, which recognises the fallibility of man. Unlike the cricket bookies, who know exactly which team will win the next T20 match.
Rajendra Nargundkar is Director, IMT Nagpur. Has been a marketing professor in India and abroad, including at two IIMs. He is an avid reader, traveller, movie buff and writer. Has published an autobiography titled My Experiments with Half-truths at pothi.com. He can be contacted at rnargundkar@gmail.com.
Image Attribution: http://www.flickr.com/photos/angelic0devil6/538614238/sizes/m/in/photostream/