Matrimonially, perfect

by Rati Ramadas

There she stood, in front of the mirror. Nothing extraordinary, definitely not exceptionally beautiful. A woman with a pear-shaped body and long, black hair stared back at Rachna. She had seen the same person over the years but today something was different. Today Rachna had made up her mind. She was sick of all the procrastinating and the moping.

It was as though her resolve was radiating some inner glow which formed a halo around her. Rachna giggled to herself at the imagery. She had chosen to wear a long, block print skirt with a deep, red blouse and she noticed with some pleasure that it hid the extra bits on her pear-shaped body very well. Until now, her flabby body had never bothered her. Her parents were fat and she had inherited those genes. She had never thought about exercising or getting into shape when she was around her friends. It had never come up in conversation and she was happy the way she was.
She bent down and tugged at an errant thread at the hem of the skirt. Everything had to be perfect today. She stood up and reached for the kohl pencil she kept on her dresser. She never stepped out without applying some kohl to her big, black eyes. She picked up the pencil and noticed it was a little blunt. It needed sharpening.. Her sharpener, specially kept for this purpose, was lying nearby. As she sharpened the pencil, she thought about how much Avinash liked her kohl-rimmed eyes. He had told her on their wedding night that it made her the most beautiful woman in the world. That memory sent a warm feeling through her body and she was now more eager than ever to set pencil to eye to get that perfect black underline beneath her deep, dark eyes.

Perfect she thought. So far everything that she had planned for today was done. The fact that the past three months had gone by because she had not bothered to make any plans was a painful memory she forced out of her mind. Just three months ago, after a grand wedding back home, she had followed a stranger to a strange country to live with him and start a new life together. Rachna and Avinash had talked a lot about what she would do when they moved to Dubai. Rachna had worked as a primary school teacher back home and wondered whether she could continue doing that here. But Avinash had found out that she would have to do a course and pass a test to get a teachers license.

She had set timelines for herself and wanted to get the license as soon as possible. But living away from home and getting used to her husband and her new life had come in the way of her plans. She never thought it would be this hard.

Rachna had met Avinash through a website. Actually Rachna's parents had met Avinash's parents through a matrimonial website. Fate and angels above had somehow led the families to each other. The families had liked what they saw and that meant they were satisfied by each other’s standing in society, economic acquisitions and familial duties. So the fathers had decided to take things further and that meant it was time for Rachna and Avinash to speak, get to know each other and reach a favourable decision. The picture of the young man given to them intrigued Rachna. Avinash was dressed in a smart, blue checked shirt tucked into jeans; he had a toothy smile that reached his eyes. He was standing in front of some monument she did not recognize, with a camera around his neck and a fanny pack around his waist. That was the only picture she saw of him before the wedding.

And that’s how she pictured him every night when she talked to him over phone for hours. Avinash, standing with a camera in front of a monument, smiling. They had trodden cautiously at first and then the conversation flowed. She realised later that Avinash had asked the questions, all she had done was to answer him. It has been easier than she thought it would be. He had asked her what she expected from marriage, what qualities she looked for in her life partner and where she saw herself five years down the line. It was like he was interviewing her for a job. She had mentioned it in passing to Avinash once, he had immediately stiffened up on the other end of the line and the questions had stopped for the night. She realised that it had made him uncomfortable and made a mental note never to bring it up again. After a few days, his questions took a more personal turn. He started asking her about her opinion on children.

He asked, ‘‘If things between us go well and we decide to get married, how soon should we have kids and how many do you see yourself having?''
It caught her off guard and she paused. Avinash felt her awkwardness and quickly moved on to something else. But later while in bed she thought about that question and felt herself redden.

She liked him and soon realised he did too. After a few days both of them conveyed their assent to their parents and then everything happened with incredible speed. She applied for a visa. The wedding date was set according to when Avinash could take a few days off. Mothers started making lists and shopping for saris and gold. Invitations were printed and mailed. Soon it was D-day and Rachna found herself staring at a gaudy floral arrangement which proclaimed to the world 'Rachna weds Avinash'. That was when it hit her. She was now Mrs Rachna Chandran.

Saying goodbye and moving to Dubai had been painful. She was terribly homesick. She missed silly things - the irritating honk of auto rickshaws, the shouts of slum children as they begged for money and food at street corners. She hated the long, never ending roads of Dubai with its slick concrete and fast, plush cars. The sight of tall buildings sickened her and she longed for tiny stores in crowded, narrow lanes.

She took out her anger on Avinash. She did not yell or scream but rather sulked night after night. Nothing seemed to interest her anymore. She was bored but refused to do anything about it. She missed home and wanted to go back. Avinash was patient with her. Even when she woke up night after night whimpering into her pillow, he held her close and comforted her, told her she could go home whenever she wanted. But he had also let it slip that the tickets were expensive and a little out of their budget. He set up a webcam for her and asked her parents to do the same so that she could talk to them every day and they could see each other as they spoke. That helped for a while.

Two months into their marriage, Avinash brought up the topic of her teaching license and the timelines she had set for herself. She nonchalantly glanced at the website he showed her and went back to staring at the television. Teaching would just have to wait. Rachna woke up tired every morning. She hated her life. She made breakfast for Avinash and after he left for work she surfed the web for hours, eating chips or cookies out of a packet in her nightclothes. She chatted with her friends when they came online and hated herself even more when they told her all about their busy lives.

It was during one of those conversations with an old friend that something changed. She was at the lowest point of her funk, that’s when her friend told her that her wedding that had been abruptly called off after her fiancé had changed his mind. Questions were asked and people jumped to conclusions. But no one knew why he had changed his mind. Her friend casually remarked about how lucky Rachna was to have found the perfect man who had taken her far away from irritating, nosy relatives. Away from all of them, where she could make a life of her own, where she could spend every moment getting to know the man she was married to, without anyone around to interrupt. She was in a land where she could spend evenings talking, playing, cooking, laughing in the company of her husband, without anyone to poke their noses and make comments. Her friend wistfully remarked that it was almost like a never ending honeymoon.

At that moment, something clicked in Rachna. She put away her packet of chips, put on some music and cleaned the house. She cooked an elaborate meal, showered and while she put on her long, block print skirt and deep red blouse, she thought about her day ahead and just how perfect it was going to be. Her kohl rimmed eyes shone as she thought how perfect her life was going to be. If she wanted it to.

Rati Ramadas is a journalist who has now turned to writing full time. She loves writing short stories and is obsessed with the theme of arranged marriage and the Indian diaspora. Her other passion is travelling and she recently moved to Houston, Texas from Germany with the hope of exploring America while she is there. She guest blogs at Pratham books and also writes for Demand studios. She blogs at www.oddsandmi.blogspot.com.

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